YOU’VE GOT MAIL!

A Pilgrim’s Trial-Before even Leaving the Camino Conference!

© Kevin Carden| Dreamstime.com

I was both exhausted and exhilarated at all we had learned and experienced our last day at the American Pilgrims on the Camino Gathering in Santa Barbara. After getting back to our room, Sandi and I talked excitedly for a few minutes about the high points for each of us, then settled into our own narrow beds for some quiet time to regroup and reflect.

Reflecting on the Cruz de Fierro and My Patterns of Self-Sabotage

My mind kept going back to the presentation about the Cruz de Fierro, the pre-Christian Iron Cross, where pilgrims placed objects symbolizing what they wanted to let go of. What had immediately come into my mind was a strong desire to quit my self-sabotage with drinking too much and allowing myself to be pulled off balance by having relationships with incongruous men. I was still feeling kind of unsettled by what it stirred up for me and I pondered what objects to leave there. Some people left notes. I could do that.

I wasn’t used to being away from my computer for so long, so opened my email to the immediate ding and cheerful AOL voice message, “You’ve got mail!”

Oh boy, what timing-an email from Match.com.

My last few relationships had been fascinating, yet kind of disastrous. Not “matches made in heaven,” so a new man in my life was the last thing on my mind. My mind was overflowing with all the new information about the Camino, the new friendships, what steps to take first and certainly my fears of not being physically ready for a 500- mile trek by September, in only 6 months.

I’d almost forgotten that I still had a Match membership because of so little activity to connect with anyone that interested me. I clicked on the link, expecting just to delete one more unpromising connection and move on.

My heart got the message and skipped (leaped) before I could even read or take it all in.

RodrigoandYou

61, Corona, CA

Heart, Soul, Spirit, matched to Blues, books, poetry. Passion for life. Joyous life. Playful, passionate, peaceful and curious. Open to the possibilities. Laughter, patience and genuine caring.

March 13, 2013

Puerto Rico

I think I might be in deep water here. I am a Perio-Prosthetic Dentist born in Puerto Rico, raised in New Jersey and educated in the University of Life. My dentistry training was at UCSF. I’m a Viet Nam veteran and my curiosity is beyond reproach. I am amazed by life’s twists, turns and absurdities. With that, please tell me what we do next. (Curiosity has just hit a home run off the bleachers and into the stands:).

I could barely see him in the tiny, dark profile photo, but behind him, in my mind’s eye, I saw the tidepools full of starfish and sea anemones and could hear the crashing waves and smell the salty spray, and I felt the warm white sand between my toes and smelled the ripening pineapples and mangoes of my magical childhood.

Deep Water

In this photo, he was at the beach of my most precious memories. My family went there almost every weekend of my childhood. A warmth overflowed my heart into my whole body as I looked at him and read the rest of his profile, listing his birthplace as Isabela, a short drive from Mayaguez, where I grew up, both small towns on the western coast of Puerto Rico.

This man, standing in the land of my heart, lived within walking distance of where I was staying with my parents. No need for either of us to take a chance and venture on the wild LA freeways to spend a few minutes realizing that the whole trip was a waste of time. This man lived in my neighborhood!

As I lay back, ready to turn off the light, starting to drift into the dream state, I imagined the delight in his eyes as I served him a plate of my special Arroz Con Gandules, a unique Puerto Rican specialty rarely found in California. A few minutes later, after lights out, my body seemed to sense our plane already gliding down onto the runway in San Juan, and I felt the humid warmth of the Caribbean.